Purcell Family of America

“Paying Respects….” 

When you sit down to write a President’s Letter, you often have many thoughts and how to collect them into a theme.  After two weeks of this process, “Paying Respects” came to me while staying overnight at my Aunt Ce and Uncle Jack’s Apartment/Home in Atlantic Beach, FL. 

Normally the term of “Paying Respects” is considered as part of the results of someone’s dying, which is certainly true. However, as I planned this trip, I got to thinking that this simple phrase can be applied much more broadly to “the living.” 

Specifically, this ‘business’ trip to Orlando included a visit with my grand nephew Tate Purcell, who is the son of my nephew Mitch, who lives in Billings.  Tate lives with his Mom Deanna Fox in the Orlando area.  I had dinner with them and Deanna’s significant other Mark, who lives in Montana.  Aside from seeing Tate last summer in Billings, it is usually two+ years between visits. So it was wonderful to catch up learn of his desire to become an Architect.  Of course this could change, as he is just 12.  But he’s smart and he values his family relationships. He has visited his Dad, step Mom, Grandma and Grandpa in Billings at least once per year.  He’s travelled more than many adults.  By investing in this relationship now, it will hopefully result in warm, positive relationship as Tate becomes an adult. 

It is difficult to build friendships as adults.  Wouldn’t you agree?  So, on Friday evening I visited with a couple who are friends with one of my best friends: Stephen and Ola Medvec of Philadelphia.    Their friends Val and Bob Raisch are originally from Helena, MT, and now live in Ocala, FL. They welcomed me to their home, treated me to dinner at a wonderful fish restaurant and made a delicious scrambled egg and bacon breakfast.  Since we both live on the East Coast, we agreed that western visitors to us on the East Coast rarely happens.  Why is that?  We have travelled countless times to Montana and Western Relatives, yet few have travelled East.  The bottomline here is that you build friendships by visiting and ‘paying respects.’  

My last visit on this trip was with my Aunt Ce and Uncle Jack who live in a progressive care retirement community called Fleet Landing in Atlantic Beach, Florida, which is about half an hour east-southeast of Jacksonville.  They’ve been there about 15 years, and have gone from living in a duplex home to a two-bedroom apartment.  They’ve gone from being thoroughly active and volunteering in all types of activities in their late 70s to being immobile and need of nursing and hospice care.  Despite this change-of-life, their relationship has lovingly matured and I could see this in their smiles, touches and embraces.  And, even though my Uncle Jack is mostly bedridden, and gaunt from weight loss (200 to 150), his ‘smile’ is contagious.  I’m fortunate to have taken natural path walks and shared sail boating with my Uncle Jack, and still be able to solicit stories of his growing up.   

‘Paying Respects’ also pertains to attentive children who don’t forget their parents when they get old and feeble.  I’ve seen Jack and Ce’s daughter Sherry put together scrapbooks for her Mom and Dad that their wedding in the early 60s, capture Dad’s Retirement and 90^th Birthday, plus Mom’s 90^th Birthday and her family’s favorite receipes in a custom cookbook.  (See photo and notes below.)  Son Brad has, like his sister, made countless trips to visit their parents to help in all aspects of downsizing, re-organizing and in making necessary healthcare decisions.    

From the 90^th Birthday album, I’ve jotted down what I wrote several years ago: “Jack and Ce….Thank you so much for your generosity over the years…from Grosse Pointe, MI; Billings to Red Lodge, MT; and, Hilton Head, SC to Atlantic Beach…you’ve lived in some amazing places; but, it’s you that made them all ‘special!’ 

At the beginning of one of the albums is the following inscription: ‘ A collection of wit, reflections, inspirations and prayerful reflections.’  Why not take time to put together a treasured album for one of you loved ones? 

I encourage all members of the Purcell Family of America to ‘Pay their Respects’ to friends and family while they are alive, and to keep up gravesites after they’ve passed.  (My next President’s column will most likely be about the unique aspects of Graveyards, etc al.)  

You can bolster your Purcell Family relationships by planning now to attend our Purcell Family of America Reunion in Salt Lake City this coming June.  (Please see info in this eNewsletter.)  Board member Aloa Dereta and daughter Sheri have invested time and efforts to make this a fun event.  Please join us  in Salt Lake City, the gateway for genealogy research and for seeing some of the most spectacular scenery in the West.  (I’ve done a Powerpoint presentation for the Reunion, which can be accessed on our website: www.pfaroots.org) 

You gain what you sew…which is true for the grains of wheat and of relationships. 

JF Purcell

President, Purcell Family of America